Wednesday, April 22, 2009

I Hate Sqare Butts....the commercial that is!!!

UPDATE: Monday, April 20 FOXNews: Bill O'Reilly tonight - the Culture Warriors analyze a controversial new Burger King ad featuring Spongebob Squarepants!

by Janet Crain
Am I hopelessly old fashioned, a complete square, or wouldn't that be good in this new universe of square objects? I have been wondering if anyone else finds this Burger King commercial offensive and so I did a search. It seems some others do as well. Who wants their kids singing this jingle? I have no idea who Burger King's targeted audience was, but I know who it will be. Millions of kids old enough to sit alone will see this.

As a disclaimer, I never liked the insipid original Sponge Bob. What on earth was/is his appeal? Then college kids started liking this cartoon and devoting endless misspent hours to watching it. I still didn't get it. But then I never knew why Bob Barker became so popular with the college set.

So please comment, let me know what you think.

And vote in our poll in the upper right>>>>>>>>>

One guy who liked the commercial nevertheless had these misgivings:

I don’t know what’s more disturbing, watching the Burger King dance around to the song, or the fact that they’re using Baby Got Back to sell kid’s meals. And really, is it wise to use a song that glorifies fat asses to advertise a fast food restaurant that gives people…well…fat asses?

Here are the full lyrics:

I like square butts and I cannot lie
Squid and Sea Star can’t deny
When a sponge walks in, four corners and his pen
Like he got phone book implants, the crowd shouts

All the ladies stare
Dang those pants are square!
Swimming through the seaweed tangle
Is a butt with sharp right angles

Now Sponge Bob, I wanna get witch-ya
‘Cuz you’re making me rich-ah
Underwater, we keep it grungy
‘Cuz everybody knows that ‘He so spongey!’

Ooh, Rumplespongeskin
You dance, but your hips don’t bend
So groove it and move it
If you got caboose, then prove it

Sponge Bob is dancing
And Squidward is glancing
He’s hatin’… wet
He’s got Sponge Bob runnin’ his set

I’m tired of all these chairs
They don’t accommodate these squares
Take the average ???? tell him that
You gotta have square back

Mr. Krab! (yeah)
Patrick! (yeah)
Has Sponge Bob got the butt? (oh yeah)
Then shake it (shake it)
Shake it (shake it)
Shake that cubicle butt

Sponge Bob got back
(Naw, dude, I said cubicle, not booty-ful. Don’t trip. Yeah baby, when it comes to sea life, curves ain’t got nothin’ to do with Bob’s selection. 2 x 2 x 2 square trousers, working that black belt, looking like dotted lines. That’s how Sponge Bob like to rock them threads baby.)

A word to the DC sponges who wanna get wit it
And watch Sponge Bob kick it
I gotta be straight when I say you gotta scrub ’til the break of dawn
Bob got it goin’ on, been known to rock him a thong
Them round butts won’t admit it
But they’d wear that gear if they could fit it

You can draw his body on paper
His waistline really don’t taper
Your girlfriend wants to squeeze him
Wanna push his pores and tease him

But Sponge Bob ain’t gonna have too much of that squeezin’
You other sponges don’t want none unless you rock square buns!

To the new sponges in the magazines, you ain’t it Miss Thang
We rock them cubes, gals and dudes
Put it down at the goo lagoon

Some other box must get jealous
At the moves that come from square fellas
See Bob and they wanna get him
But Sandy Cheeks he won’t let ‘em

If you happen to wander on land
And you wanna be a square butt fan
And drive the crew right to Burger King
And give that sponge a ring

Sponge Bob got back!

© Janet Crain

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keyboard.jockey said...

Seems a little mature for the Nickelodeon audience doesn't it? What is the average age of kids watching sponge bob...remember the Sponge Bob movie was all a about him being a little kids trying to grow up and failing the movie which I was dragged to was PG. That was my last sponge bob viewing :) Well till now.

keyboard.jockey said...

ated: PG [See Full Rating] for some mild crude humor

Runtime: 90 mins

Genre: Childrens

Theatrical Release:Nov 19, 2004 Wide

Box Office: $85,373,733

Synopsis: A passion for drawing, a penchant for the films of Jacques Cousteau, and a career as a marine biologist were SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS creator Stephen Hillenburg's inspirations for bringing this fun... A passion for drawing, a penchant for the films of Jacques Cousteau, and a career as a marine biologist were SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS creator Stephen Hillenburg's inspirations for bringing this fun character to life. A hugely popular Nickelodeon show based on SpongeBob inspires THE SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS MOVIE, which brings the oceanic cast of animated oddballs to the big screen. The bubbly inhabitants of Bikini Bottom are in more trouble than a sinking ship at the start of the film. The evil Plankton (Doug Lawrence) has hatched a plan to send the Krusty Krab burger chain out of business. He steals the secret formula for the delicious Krabby Patty and then frames Mr. Krabs (Clancy Brown) for the theft of King Neptune's (Jeffrey Tambor) crown. With all eyes on Mr. Krabs, Plankton starts selling Krabby Patties at his own Chum Bucket restaurant. Just then, SpongeBob (Tom Kenny) steps in and, with his starfish pal Patrick (Rick Faggerbakke), sets out to find the crown and get Mr. Krabs out of hot water. What follows is an epic adventure in which the pair encounter some slippery villains, and a hero in the form of special guest star David Hasselhoff--who appears as himself in a bizarre fusion of animation and live action. SpongeBob and Patrick frantically race back to Bikini Bottom to stop megalomaniacal Plankton from taking over the world. All of this is played out before an eclectic soundtrack, which pairs indie rockers like The Flaming Lips and Wilco with teen-pop princess Avril Lavigne. Taking its first triumphant step into the feature film world, SPONGEBOB soaks up an enthusiastic crowd of children and adults alike. [Less]
Yep G rating for Children.

SpeakDog said...

I like SpongeBob.

But, that commercial is stupid and suggestive. I saw it on Comedy Central last night during a show that was definitely not "G".

I'm not sure who they think it will appeal to...

MisterManAnalogy said...

I agree, the commercial is highly offensive and not at all directed towards children.

Or shouldn't be at least.

I personally never cared for Sponge Bob in the first place. Not my kind of humor. But I actually enjoy intelligent conversation and shows with a point.
The Burger King commercials have been going down hill for years. And This is the low of the low.

I refuse to eat at a restaurant, fast food or otherwise, that supports this kind of idiotic concept.

It makes the models look foolish beyond necessity, it gives Burger King a bad name, it shows us the writers of that commercial have no taste nor minds of their own (or at least are out of useful contributions to society) And are sending the wrong messages to our youth.

I personally wish for the elimination of Sponge Bob and Burger Kings new ideas of marketing. They need to just be bought out by McDonalds.

Anonymous said...

i don't understand Sarah Palin's appeal.

ps i'm 10 ten