Wednesday, April 22, 2009
I Hate Sqare Butts....the commercial that is!!!
UPDATE: Monday, April 20 FOXNews: Bill O'Reilly tonight - the Culture Warriors analyze a controversial new Burger King ad featuring Spongebob Squarepants!
by Janet Crain
Am I hopelessly old fashioned, a complete square, or wouldn't that be good in this new universe of square objects? I have been wondering if anyone else finds this Burger King commercial offensive and so I did a search. It seems some others do as well. Who wants their kids singing this jingle? I have no idea who Burger King's targeted audience was, but I know who it will be. Millions of kids old enough to sit alone will see this.
As a disclaimer, I never liked the insipid original Sponge Bob. What on earth was/is his appeal? Then college kids started liking this cartoon and devoting endless misspent hours to watching it. I still didn't get it. But then I never knew why Bob Barker became so popular with the college set.
So please comment, let me know what you think.
And vote in our poll in the upper right>>>>>>>>>
One guy who liked the commercial nevertheless had these misgivings:
I don’t know what’s more disturbing, watching the Burger King dance around to the song, or the fact that they’re using Baby Got Back to sell kid’s meals. And really, is it wise to use a song that glorifies fat asses to advertise a fast food restaurant that gives people…well…fat asses?
Here are the full lyrics:
I like square butts and I cannot lie
Squid and Sea Star can’t deny
When a sponge walks in, four corners and his pen
Like he got phone book implants, the crowd shouts
All the ladies stare
Dang those pants are square!
Swimming through the seaweed tangle
Is a butt with sharp right angles
Now Sponge Bob, I wanna get witch-ya
‘Cuz you’re making me rich-ah
Underwater, we keep it grungy
‘Cuz everybody knows that ‘He so spongey!’
You dance, but your hips don’t bend
So groove it and move it
If you got caboose, then prove it
Sponge Bob is dancing
And Squidward is glancing
He’s hatin’… wet
He’s got Sponge Bob runnin’ his set
I’m tired of all these chairs
They don’t accommodate these squares
Take the average ???? tell him that
You gotta have square back
Mr. Krab! (yeah)
Has Sponge Bob got the butt? (oh yeah)
Then shake it (shake it)
Shake it (shake it)
Shake that cubicle butt
Sponge Bob got back
(Naw, dude, I said cubicle, not booty-ful. Don’t trip. Yeah baby, when it comes to sea life, curves ain’t got nothin’ to do with Bob’s selection. 2 x 2 x 2 square trousers, working that black belt, looking like dotted lines. That’s how Sponge Bob like to rock them threads baby.)
A word to the DC sponges who wanna get wit it
And watch Sponge Bob kick it
I gotta be straight when I say you gotta scrub ’til the break of dawn
Bob got it goin’ on, been known to rock him a thong
Them round butts won’t admit it
But they’d wear that gear if they could fit it
You can draw his body on paper
His waistline really don’t taper
Your girlfriend wants to squeeze him
Wanna push his pores and tease him
But Sponge Bob ain’t gonna have too much of that squeezin’
You other sponges don’t want none unless you rock square buns!
To the new sponges in the magazines, you ain’t it Miss Thang
We rock them cubes, gals and dudes
Put it down at the goo lagoon
Some other box must get jealous
At the moves that come from square fellas
See Bob and they wanna get him
But Sandy Cheeks he won’t let ‘em
If you happen to wander on land
And you wanna be a square butt fan
And drive the crew right to Burger King
And give that sponge a ring
Sponge Bob got back!
© Janet Crain
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