Thursday, August 6, 2009

Toldja So...........

Hat Tip: Diane



Your entertainment for the day...




HEADLINES FROM THE YEAR: 2029



  • Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh Largest country in the world, Mexifornia, formerly known as California.

  • White minorities still trying to have English recognized as Mexifornia's third language.

  • Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern United States crops and livestock.

  • Baby conceived naturally! Scientists stumped.

  • Couple petitions court to reinstate heterosexual marriage.

  • Iran still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least 10 more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.

  • France pleads for global help after being taken over by Jamaica . No other country comes forward to help the beleaguered nation!

  • Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking.

  • George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036.

  • Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesdays only.

  • 85-year $75.8 billion study: Diet and exercise is the key to weight loss.

  • Average weight of Americans drops to 250 lbs.

  • Global cooling blamed for citrus crop failure for third consecutive year in Mexifornia and Floruba.


  • Japanese scientists have created a camera with such a fast shutter speed they now can photograph a woman with her mouth shut.

  • Abortion clinics now available in every High School in United States .

  • Senate still blocking drilling in ANWR even though gas is selling for 4532 Pesos per liter and gas stations are only open on Tuesdays and Fridays.

  • Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative.

  • Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil rights.

  • NBA players now average nine feet seven inches in height and have only 3 illegitimate children.


  • New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters and rolled-up newspapers must be registered by January 2030..


  • IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75 percent.. OUCH!!!!!


  • Floruba voters still having trouble with voting machines.


© Janet Crain

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1 comment:

keyboard.jockey said...

Tonight on Fox News at 9:00 PM Eastern, 8:00 Central. Sean Hannity airs his visit to the Imus Ranch For Children With Cancer and Blood Disorders.

http://youhavetobethistalltogoonthisride.blogspot.com/2009/08/sean-hannity-imus-ranch-special-tonight.html